Snow Light
by Kit-Pocket
Summary: A Snow White parody of sorts. Light wanted to sleep, so L helped him. Why does everything always have to go wrong? no pairings


Snow Light: Snow White pun. Hee hee. I'm so funny.

This is a oneshot I wrote a couple of months ago. I figured I'd post it up. It's kind of lame, but it's got some laughs, methinks...

Pairings: No pairings. Couple of yaoi hints, though--be warned.

Series: Death Note, which I do not own, by the way. No profit made from this.

Enjoy!

--

L was starting to regret giving Light that apple.

It had just been to help him. Light was constantly complaining about not getting any sleep because of L's working on his laptop late into the night, so L figured he ought to give Light his rest. Just a small sleeping drug, dusted over a bright red apple. One bite and Light would be able to sleep without interruption for hours.

One bite. Just one bite.

Apparently, Light could eat more than one bite within 30 seconds.

It was a powerful medicine, and L had been sure that Light wouldn't have a chance to have more than one mouthful before it started working. If he started to take another bite, he'd either fall asleep before swallowing it or L would stop him.

L hadn't expected Light to take in three bites at once, like he hadn't eaten in days. Now Light was lying on the floor, practically in a coma.

"Well, damn," L muttered, chewing on his lip.

Thinking quickly, L dragged Light into the bedroom. He unlocked the chain on his wrist and used it to lock Light's wrist to the bed. _So he can't escape if… __**when**__ he wakes up,_ thought L.

According to the label on the bottle, the dose that had been in one bite was enough to make Light sleep for exactly five hours. Which meant Light would only be asleep for fifteen hours. Okay, that wasn't so bad. Less than a day; no problem. He might not even have to let anyone else know about this miscalculation if it only took that long.

Fifteen hours. Let the wait begin.

After exactly fifteen hours of checking e-mail, working on graphs, and playing solitaire on his laptop, L glanced over at Light. He wasn't stirring.

_Relax,_ thought L, _the fifteen hours is just estimation. Light-kun will be awake soon._

L went back to playing solitaire, glancing at Light every five minutes. Light didn't move.

An hour passed. Nothing.

"Perhaps I should check that bottle again," L muttered, grabbing the container and examining it closely.

On the bottom, in fine print, it read:

_**Warning: Some people are especially susceptible to AurEX. If you are sleeping longer than you should be, please go see your doctor.**_

_Well, that makes sense. If you can't wake up, go see your doctor,_ L thought to himself bitterly.

He tossed the bottle to the side, flipping his laptop back open. "Light-kun was merely very tired. Yes. It was an overdose mixed with exhaustion, and he will wake up soon."

After another hour, the members of the investigation team refused to wait for him any longer.

"Ryuzaki!" yelled Aizawa, knocking on the door. "I'm sorry, Ryuzaki, I know you ordered us not to bother you… and turned off the cameras and locked the door and everything… But are you two all right?"

"Yes, yes. Nothing's wrong," L called back, curled up in his armchair, hugging his knees to his chest and rocking on his heels. Another glance at Light; he still didn't stir.

_Why won't Light-kun wake up?_

He had made a foolish mistake. He himself never got sick, so he hadn't paid much attention when it came to medicine, but of course overdosing didn't just triple the effect. It could have dastardly consequences, and Light could be in serious trouble.

But damn it, this was just too embarrassing!

Outside the door, L heard voices.

"I'm getting worried…"

"Don't be, Matsuda. This is Ryuzaki; we have nothing to worry about."

"Yeah, you're right, but… Um… Maybe we should be worried _because_ it's Ryuzaki?"

"Matsuda! Have some faith!"

"Sorry, Chief…"

"Well, he might be right…"

"Aizawa! Relax! Everything's fine!"

"You're sweating a lot, Chief. Are _you_ all right?"

"I'm fine. Fine. …Fine."

Another knock at the door.

"Ryuzaki, please, at least tell us why you won't let us in," called Aizawa.

Ryuzaki racked his brain for an excuse to get them to leave him alone. He kept glancing at Light, the boy's twitching limbs as he dreamed constantly distracting him. "I'm… naked."

Wrong answer. Only silence could be heard behind the door now.

"Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine."

"Chief? **Chief?** Breathe, Chief, breathe!"

L sighed and stood up. He had no choice, it seemed. Either he would tell, or Light would be in a very grim predicament, with Chief Yagami following shortly afterwards.

He threw the door open, and the task force screamed and covered their eyes.

"AHH!" shrieked Matsuda, squeezing his eyes shut.

"**RYUZAKI!**" yelled Aizawa, grimacing with disgust as he shielded his eyes with his arm.

"I'm **not** really naked," L muttered indignantly.

The investigation team sighed with relief.

L scowled. "I'll let you in now. I…" He looked away, chewing his thumb with frustration. "I need your help."

--

"Dear God, Ryuzaki," said Soichiro, staring at Light in disbelief, "What did you do to my son?"

"He needed sleep," said L, "I was helping him."

"Okay, so he's asleep. That's not so bad," said Matsuda, scratching the back of his head with a sheepish grin, "How long has he been sleeping?"

L glanced away, avoiding their eyes. "…Seventeen hours."

Soichiro whipped his head towards L, eyes the size of dinner plates. "WHAT?!"

Still looking away, L said calmly, "Please relax, Yagami-san. He'll wake up soon, I'm sure."

The Chief's eyes narrowed. "**How many times have you told yourself that today?**"

"…" No answer.

"It's sort of like Sleeping Beauty, isn't it?" Matsuda was observing Light quietly, a small smile on his lips as Light's chest rose and fell in tiny, smooth breaths.

Soichiro's eyebrow twitched, slowly turning his head to stare at Matsuda in horror. "…Matsuda?"

"More like Snow White, Matsuda-san. I used an apple," said L, chewing on his thumb.

Matsuda blinked and grinned. "Wow. Do you like fairy tales, Ryuzaki?"

"CAN WE FOCUS ON MY SON?" yelled Soichiro, glaring at the two men.

"Have you tried to wake him up yet?" asked Aizawa, poking Light in the chest. Light twitched and turned over, snoring lightly.

L looked up thoughtfully. "No, Aizawa-san, I have not. Admittedly, I have been in a bit of denial about this whole situation."

"Just a bit, really?" Ide muttered.

"What was that, Ide-san?" asked L, whipping his head in Ide's direction. His eyes were wider than usual, daring Ide to defy him.

Ide glanced away. "Nothing."

"I see. I must have been hearing things," L muttered. "Anyhow, I'm not quite sure how to go about it." L turned back to Light, taking his thumb out of his mouth and sticking his hands in his pockets. "We could attempt to wake him up, or we could take him to a doctor. I don't think taking him to the doctor would be wise."

"Why?" asked Matsuda, still gazing at Light with a curious expression.

"Because, Matsuda-san, I am L. And Light-kun is suspected of being Kira. We should not be seen too often," said L, tilting his head to the side.

"You just don't want people to see your mistake."

"Please, stop mumbling, Ide-san. I can't hear you at all."

"I didn't say anything."

"Let's start with noise," said Matsuda happily, like it was a game in preschool. "HEY, LIGHT!"

No response.

Matsuda leaned down to Light's ear. "**LIGHT!**"

"I'm sure he is aware of what his name is, Matsuda," said Soichiro, sighing. "That's not working, obviously."

"…_**LIGHT!**_"

"MATSUDA! Quit it!"

Aizawa sighed and sat down on the bed next to the sleeping boy. "Hey, Light." He grabbed the teen's arm and began shaking gently. "Wake up." He scowled. His shaking grew rougher. "WAKE UP!"

L quickly grabbed Aizawa's wrist before he ended up slapping the boy or throwing him across the room. "Aizawa-san. It's not working. Calm down."

"Um… sorry. I got carried away," said Aizawa sheepishly. He stood up and sighed, running a hand through his hair. "He sure is a heavy sleeper. It's like he's dead."

Soichiro stiffened. Aizawa gulped. "I mean… uh… sorry?"

"Actually," Chief Yagami said tensely, glaring in L's direction, "Light is usually a very light sleeper. I guess it's because he was DRUGGED."

"That's in the past now. We must move on to the future," said L, leaning next to Light's face to see if he was waking up at all.

Grinding his teeth, Soichiro yelled, "**My son is in a coma!**"

"Not really. See? He's moving, and breathing correctly. He's just in a very, very, very deep sleep," said Matsuda.

L suddenly stood up straight, turning around. "We must research this. Surely there is a cure somewhere on the Internet."

L walked towards the door, and the others followed. Matsuda paused, glancing at Light. "I'll just stay behind. …In case he wakes up," he said hesitantly, inching towards the bed.

"All right, Matsuda-san," said L, not looking back. He was glad that Matsuda would not be getting in the way, but when he thought about it, Matsuda was usually the type to _want_ to get in the way—or, as he called it, 'help'. Just in case, L opened another window on the computer screen that showed what was going on in the other room.

After opening a few Google results, L was getting a bit nervous. Overdosing on these sleeping drugs was bad. Behind him, Chief Yagami was nearly panicking. Trying to ignore the butterflies that were bouncing off the walls of his stomach, L looked at the little surveillance screen to distract himself.

His eyes went wide. _What the-?! _

L leaped to his feet and ran to the room where Light was sleeping, slamming the door open. "Matsuda-san! What are you doing?"

Matsuda shrieked and flew away from his previous position; inches away from Light's lips. Chief Yagami, Aizawa and Ide ran in, gaping at the scene before them. Soichiro stuttered out, "M-M-Matsuda?!"

"It's not what it looks like, I swear!" yelped Matsuda, waving his hands desperately.

Suddenly furious, Soichiro rolled up his sleeves, his face twisted with rage. "The hell it isn't, you perverted—"

Matsuda cringed, cowering with fear. "I-I was just following the story! Please don't be mad at me!"

Ide groaned with realization. "Matsuda… This is not Sleeping Beauty, or Snow White, or any of those fairy tales. You're not _that_ stupid, are you?"

Matsuda looked down at the ground awkwardly. "Not usually…"

"Matsuda-san, please don't let such tall tales get to your head… or your sexuality. Science shall provide the answer," said L, stepping towards Light and stepping on a piece of paper he had left on the floor earlier that day.

It all seemed to happen slowly.

As he fell, L saw things with a heightened perspective. Every detail he saw with the utmost clarity; Chief Yagami's anger morphed into shock and horror, his own hand flying out in the vain hope of grabbing on to something or to catch himself, his fist accidentally hitting Light in the gut, Light's face twisting into discomfort, and finally, Light's eyelids fluttering open just as L fell on top of him, their lips colliding.

Any drowsy side-effects were shaken away instantly.

"WHAT THE HELL?! RYUZAKI! GET OFF!"

"Ryuzaki! **Get off of my son**!"

"It was not on purpose, Yagami-san, Light-kun, I assure you…"

"How am I supposed to believe that when I'm chained to the bed?!"

"That was in case you woke when I wasn't around."

"Woke--? Oh my god. You drugged me, you son of a bitch."

"Now, Light-kun, it was just to help you… You were saying you wanted to sleep…"

"**Sleep, not go into a coma!**"

"Light-kun… Light-kun, please put down the chair…"

Later on, in the computer room, Matsuda sipped his coffee and sighed. "It sure is lucky that Light is so healthy, huh?"

Aizawa nodded in agreement. "True. If he wasn't in such good shape, he might've been much worse off."

"Still, I'm surprised he that what woke him up was L's kiss," said Matsuda, laughing. "You all called me stupid, too!"

"It was the punch in the stomach that woke him up," Soichiro growled out, not looking at them.

"Of course. I mean, fairy tales aren't real," said Ide, setting his cup down on the coffee table.

Matsuda grinned. "But still, hypothetically, would that mean that Ryuzaki is Light's—"

"**No**, Matsuda. No, it wouldn't," Soichiro growled, trying to focus on the paperwork in front of him.

"But—"

"**No**."

Shrugging, Matsuda went back to drinking his coffee. He glanced over at Light and L. The two men were currently staring intently at their computer screens, no speaking to each other.

"I wonder which one is the princess," said Matsuda, snickering.

"Matsuda," said Soichiro, "Shut up."

--End--

**Author's notes:** This fic is so off... Sleeping drugs don't work that way. XD I did little-to-no research on this.

Anyway, I hope you liked it. Please review!


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